Can’t? or Won’t?

I tried for months to get a notoriously recalcitrant employee to do his job, to no avail.

When clear direction and patience led to escalating subordination, I tried bribing, enticing, encouraging, begging, demanding, and ignoring. No improvement. My peers were sympathetic - and glad he didn’t report to them. I could have (maybe should have) started an HR process toward a PIP, though didn’t want him to go, just change.

A mentor gave me some advice that I followed then and employed since, albeit in less dramatic situations. Bill suggested that I sit down with the guy and say,

“Is this work that you can’t do or won’t do? If you can’t, let’s work on a solution. If you won’t, we need to have a different conversation.”

So simple. Focus on the work, rather than my management. Recognize what I can — and can’t — control.

Years earlier, my husband had been similarly challenged. At the time, his boss, Steve, said, “The wrong person is staying up at night.”

In each case, we needed to take ourselves out of the equation and let the employee take responsibility - and the consequence - of his own behavior.